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Recruitment Explained. This Is So True It Hurts.

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One day while walking downtown, a Human Resources woman was hit by a bus and was tragically killed. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.

“Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we’ve never once had an HR manager make it this far and we’re really not sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in,” said the woman.

“Well, I’d like to, but I have higher orders. What we’re going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in,” the Saint replied.

“Actually, I think I’ve made up my mind… I prefer to stay in Heaven.”

“Sorry, we have our rules…”

And with that St. Peter put the HR manager in an elevator and it went down-down-down to Hell. The doors opened and the HR manager found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends – fellow HR professionals that she had worked with. They were all dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kinda cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. The HR manager was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator. The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates where St. Peter was waiting for her.

“Now it’s time to spend a day in Heaven” he said. So the HR manager spent the next 24 hours lounging around on the clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had a great time and before she knew it, her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.

“So, you’ve spent a day in Hell and you’ve spent a day in Heaven. Now you must choose your eternity,” he said.

The HR manager paused for a second and then replied, “Well, I never thought I’d say this. I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell.”

So, St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again the HR manager went down-down-down back to Hell.

When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up garbage and putting it in sacks for the evening meal. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her and laughed at her.

“I don’t understand,” stammered the HR manager. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable.”

The Devil looked at her and grinned: “That’s because yesterday we were recruiting you… but today you’re staff.”

source: http://medical.tickld.com/x/recruitment-explained-this-is-so-true-it-hurts

Categories: Jokes, Life, Relationships, Tips

Watching the world go by…

September 19, 2014 Leave a comment

007

 

Cat Nap…

September 17, 2014 Leave a comment

005

Source unknown

Categories: Eh?, Jokes

Husband Day Care Centre

October 16, 2011 Leave a comment

Source unknown. It was forwarded to me so I can’t credit the source.

Categories: Jokes, Life, Relationships, Tips Tags: ,

Marketing Concepts Made Easy

September 26, 2011 Leave a comment

A Professor at one of the Universities was explaining marketing concepts to the Students:-

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!”

– That’s Direct Marketing

2. You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says: “He’s very rich. Marry him.”

– That’s Advertising

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day, you call and say: “Hi, I’m very rich. Marry me.”

– That’s Telemarketing

4. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink, you open the door (of the car)for her,pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her ride and then say: “By the way, I’m rich. Will you marry me?”

– That’s Public Relations

5. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says: “You are very rich! Can you marry me?”

– That’s Brand Recognition

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.

– That’s Customer Feedback

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” And she introduces you to her husband.

– That’s demand and supply gap

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say anything, another person come and tell her: “I’m rich. Will you marry me?” and she goes with him

– That’s competition eating into your market share

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and before you say: “I’m rich, Marry me!” your wife arrives.

– That’s restriction for entering new markets

The Man Among the Coffee beans

September 13, 2011 Leave a comment
THE TRICK IS TO FIND THE MAN IN THE COFFEE BEANS:
This is bizarre – after you find the guy – it’s so obvious. Once you find him – it’s embarrassing,
and you think, “Why didn’t I see him immediately?”

Doctors have concluded that if you find the man in the coffee beans in 3 seconds, the right half of your brain is better developed than most people. If you find the man between 3 seconds and 1 minute, the right half of the brain is developed normally. If you find the man between 1 minute and 3 minutes, then the right half of your brain is functioning slowly and you need to eat more protein. If you have not found the man after 3 minutes, the advice is to look for more of this type of exercise to make that part of the brain stronger! And yes, the man is really there!

After you find the man in the beans forward the e-mail to your brainy friends.

Smiles

THESE MORNING WALKS ARE KILLING ME!!!!

WHAT PART OF QUIET DIDN’T YOU UNDERSTAND?

OK NOW DON’T MOVE FOR ABOUT A WEEK!

SORRY MOM, I’M NEW AT THIS!

I hate it when this happens!

I’M SO CUTE, THEY DON’T CARE IF I SHRED THIS!!

I REALLY NEED TO GET GOING, BUT JUST CAN’T SEEM TO GET MOTIVATED………….

Hey..gimme my BALL back!!

I said, Go to sleep!!

Nice doggie..GOOD boy

A little power nap…

Sleeping in again

WHAT PETS DO WHEN WE’RE AT WORK

HAVE YOU SMILED TODAY ??
It is done by moving the corners of the mouth upward.

LET ME SHOW YOU HOW…….

NOW PASS IT ON AND MAKE SOMEONE ELSE SMILE!!!

Just in case nobody has smiled at you today….

Categories: Believe it or not!, Eh?, Jokes Tags: